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From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Keywords: http://www.tcm.com/schedule/index.html?tz=CST&sdate=2017-11-11
Summary: http://www.tcm.com/schedule/index.html?tz=CST&sdate=2017-11-11
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Red Sonja(1985):
A woman seeks revenge on the evil queen by stealing her magic orb.

Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
springs into action.

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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In article<XuqdnRJBq_uIVJjHnZ2dnUU7-LGdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
 Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

> Red Sonja(1985):
> A woman seeks revenge on the evil queen by stealing her magic orb.
> 
> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
> springs into action.

This the Bo Derek version?

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Ed Stasiak <estasiak@att.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
From: Ed Stasiak <estasiak@att.net>
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> anim8rfsk
> > Ubiquitous 
> > 
> > Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> 
> This the Bo Derek version?

Yes, and I like the movie.

Bo Derek is hot (still is) and it was an interesting take
on the story, focusing on Jane almost to the exclusion
of Tarzan. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
References: <XuqdnRJBq_uIVJjHnZ2dnUU7-LGdnZ2d@giganews.com> <anim8rfsk-DBB0D8.10592610112017@news.easynews.com> <173477ed-5c69-43e6-bc87-b27aeba44655@googlegroups.com>
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In article<173477ed-5c69-43e6-bc87-b27aeba44655@googlegroups.com>,
 Ed Stasiak<estasiak@att.net> wrote:

> > anim8rfsk
> > > Ubiquitous 
> > > 
> > > Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> > 
> > This the Bo Derek version?
> 
> Yes, and I like the movie.
> 
> Bo Derek is hot (still is) and it was an interesting take
> on the story, focusing on Jane almost to the exclusion
> of Tarzan.

Plus it was way more faithful to the original than GREYSTOKE was.

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Ed Stasiak <estasiak@att.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
From: Ed Stasiak <estasiak@att.net>
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> anim8rfsk 
> >  Ed Stasiak
> > 
> > Bo Derek is hot (still is) and it was an interesting take
> > on the story, focusing on Jane almost to the exclusion
> > of Tarzan.
> 
> Plus it was way more faithful to the original than GREYSTOKE was.

Was that the latest Tarzan flick, where he... mind melds with herds
of (CGI) African animals and they charge into town?

But the Bo Derek one wasn't very faithful to the book, that I remember
reading when I was a kid.

It sure didn't have boobies.... 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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In article<a7236672-e226-43f3-a841-da240d7cac1a@googlegroups.com>,
 Ed Stasiak<estasiak@att.net> wrote:

> > anim8rfsk 
> > >  Ed Stasiak
> > > 
> > > Bo Derek is hot (still is) and it was an interesting take
> > > on the story, focusing on Jane almost to the exclusion
> > > of Tarzan.
> > 
> > Plus it was way more faithful to the original than GREYSTOKE was.
> 
> Was that the latest Tarzan flick, where he... mind melds with herds
> of (CGI) African animals and they charge into town?
> 
> But the Bo Derek one wasn't very faithful to the book, that I remember
> reading when I was a kid.
> 
> It sure didn't have boobies....

GREYSTOKE was the Christopher Lambert flick released about the same 
time, that publicized itself as faithful to the book, and all the 
critics echoed the claim, even though it was entirely without merit, as 
movie critics seem to be for the most part functioning illiterates.

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Date: Fri, 10 Nov 2017 13:08:47 -0500
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anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
>> springs into action.
>
>This the Bo Derek version?

Yes.

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
 Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> > Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
> >> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> >> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
> >> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
> >> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
> >> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
> >> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
> >> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
> >> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
> >> springs into action.
> >
> >This the Bo Derek version?
> 
> Yes.

That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
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anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>> > Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>> >> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>> >> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
>> >> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
>> >> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
>> >> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
>> >> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
>> >> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
>> >> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
>> >> springs into action.
>> >
>> >This the Bo Derek version?
>> 
>> Yes.
>
>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.

Looks like you owe yourself some ice cream.

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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In article<KomdneSVtYntc5jHnZ2dnUU7-SWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
 Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> > Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> >> > Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
> >> >> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> >> >> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
> >> >> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
> >> >> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
> >> >> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
> >> >> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
> >> >> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
> >> >> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
> >> >> springs into action.
> >> >
> >> >This the Bo Derek version?
> >> 
> >> Yes.
> >
> >That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
> 
> Looks like you owe yourself some ice cream.

Mmmmm

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: TT <ascii@dprk.kp>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Reply-To: ascii@dprk.kp
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
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anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
> In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
>   Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>
>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>> springs into action.
>>>
>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>>
>> Yes.
> 
> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
> 

To my recollection that doesn't take much.

Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
....and more importantly, does Bo show much? 

	
From: Dimensional Traveler <dtravel@sonic.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: Dimensional Traveler <dtravel@sonic.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
Date: Fri, 10 Nov 2017 13:14:15 -0800
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On 11/10/2017 12:10 PM, TT wrote:
> anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>> In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
>>   Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>
>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, 
>>>>> they
>>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each 
>>>>> other.
>>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>> springs into action.
>>>>
>>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>>>
>>> Yes.
>>
>> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
>>
> 
> To my recollection that doesn't take much.
> 
> Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
> ...and more importantly, does Bo show much?

She shows it all.

-- 
Inquiring minds want to know while minds with a self-preservation 
instinct are running screaming. 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
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TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>> In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
>>   Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>> 
>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>> springs into action.
>>>>
>>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>>>
>>> Yes.
>> 
>> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
>> 
>
>To my recollection that doesn't take much.
>
>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?

She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
the lion? She rolls around in his fur.

It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.

I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
in 10. 

Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic. 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
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From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
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In article <ou59r6$iu8$4@news.albasani.net>, ahk@chinet.com wrote:
>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>>>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>>> springs into action.
>>>>>
>>>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>>>>
>>>> Yes.
>>> 
>>> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
>>
>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.
>>
>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
>
>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.
>
>It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
>from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
>There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
>her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
>
>I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
>bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
>this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
>in 10. 
>
>Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
>particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
>uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
>touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
>and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic.

Sounds like I need to watch this one!

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: TT <ascii@dprk.kp>
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
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Ubiquitous kirjoitti 11.11.2017 klo 1:03:
> In article <ou59r6$iu8$4@news.albasani.net>, ahk@chinet.com wrote:
>> TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>>> anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
>>>>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>>>> springs into action.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>>>>>
>>>>> Yes.
>>>>
>>>> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
>>>
>>> To my recollection that doesn't take much.
>>>
>>> Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>>> ...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
>>
>> She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
>> energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
>> suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
>> the lion? She rolls around in his fur.
>>
>> It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
>>from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
>> There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
>> her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
>>
>> I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
>> bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
>> this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
>> in 10.
>>
>> Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
>> particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
>> uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
>> touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
>> and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic.
> 
> Sounds like I need to watch this one!
> 

Same here. :)

Nothing like good trash every now and then, to balance various art films...

(Just finished watching Trier's 'Antichrist'... can't say I'll recommend 
it... rated it a 4/10...) 

	
From: TT <ascii@dprk.kp>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
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Adam H. Kerman kirjoitti 11.11.2017 klo 0:39:
> TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>> anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>>> In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
>>>    Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>
>>>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>>> springs into action.
>>>>>
>>>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>>>>
>>>> Yes.
>>>
>>> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
>>>
>>
>> To my recollection that doesn't take much.
>>
>> Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>> ...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
> 
> She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
> energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
> suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
> the lion? She rolls around in his fur.
> 
> It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
> from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
> There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
> her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
> 
> I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
> bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
> this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
> in 10.
> 
> Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
> particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
> uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
> touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
> and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic.
> 

Thanks for great summary. I'll put it on my watchlist...

:) 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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In article <ou59r6$iu8$4@news.albasani.net>,
 "Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:

> TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
> >anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
> >> In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
> >>   Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >> 
> >>> anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> >>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >>>
> >>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> >>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
> >>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
> >>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
> >>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
> >>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
> >>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
> >>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
> >>>>> springs into action.
> >>>>
> >>>> This the Bo Derek version?
> >>>
> >>> Yes.
> >> 
> >> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
> >> 
> >
> >To my recollection that doesn't take much.
> >
> >Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
> >...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
> 
> She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
> energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
> suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
> the lion? She rolls around in his fur.

You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
orangutan with optical heart shapes ...

> It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
> from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
> There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
> her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.

Yep.  She always looks like she's had her floating ribs removed or 
something.

And she could hang from a tree by those toes.

> I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
> bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
> this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
> in 10. 
> 
> Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
> particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
> uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
> touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
> and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic.

I know!  That's the worst line read in history!

"I've never, been, with-a-man, before, now I don't know if-that's-good, 
or-bad"

Seriously, it's worse than David Caruso in JADE.

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Ed Stasiak <estasiak@att.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
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> anim8rfsk
> > Adam H. Kerman
> >
> > You'll be falling down on the floor laughing, and that's guaranteed
> > NOT to be erotic. 
>
> I know!  That's the worst line read in history! 

Ok, sure but in the first place, you’re forgetting the boobies and secondly,
the cinematography, locations, costumes and such is quite good. 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: "Adam H. Kerman" <ahk@chinet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,
Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Ed Stasiak<estasiak@att.net> wrote:

>>anim8rfsk
>>>Adam H. Kerman

>>>You'll be falling down on the floor laughing, and that's guaranteed
>>>NOT to be erotic. 

>>I know! That's the worst line read in history! 

>Ok, sure but in the first place, you're forgetting the boobies and secondly,
>the cinematography, locations, costumes and such is quite good.

I disagree about the cinematography. The movie needed an experienced
pr0n director. As far as photographing the landscape, that was gorgeous.
My objection to the way John photographed his wife stands. 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: "Adam H. Kerman" <ahk@chinet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
>>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>>>anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>>>>>>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>>>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>>>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>>>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>>>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>>>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>>>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>>>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>>>>springs into action.

>>>>>>This the Bo Derek version?

>>>>>Yes.

>>>>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.

>>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.

>>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?

>>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
>>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
>>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
>>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.

>You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
>orangutan with optical heart shapes ...

>>. . . 

Good point. An orangutan, because Tarzan isn't set in Africa but Borneo. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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In article <ou65vb$8rm$1@dont-email.me>,
 "Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
> >>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
> >>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
> >>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >>>>>anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> >>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
> >>>>>>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> >>>>>>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
> >>>>>>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
> >>>>>>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
> >>>>>>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
> >>>>>>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
> >>>>>>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
> >>>>>>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
> >>>>>>>springs into action.
> 
> >>>>>>This the Bo Derek version?
> 
> >>>>>Yes.
> 
> >>>>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
> 
> >>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.
> 
> >>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
> >>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
> 
> >>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
> >>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
> >>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
> >>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.
> 
> >You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
> >orangutan with optical heart shapes ...
> 
> >>. . . 
> 
> Good point. An orangutan, because Tarzan isn't set in Africa but Borneo.

hee hee

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>"Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
>>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>>>anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>>>>>>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>>>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>>>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>>>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>>>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>>>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>>>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>>>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>>>>springs into action.

>>>>>>This the Bo Derek version?

>>>>>Yes.

>>>>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.

>>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.

>>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?

>>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
>>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
>>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
>>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.

>You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
>orangutan with optical heart shapes ...

>>It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
>>from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
>>There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
>>her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.

>Yep.  She always looks like she's had her floating ribs removed or 
>something.

>And she could hang from a tree by those toes.

I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
that they were doing parody?

I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.

Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
travelling on. We assume she's naked.

The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
the water. Why? I don't know.

This is when the lion famously saunters over. It's quite obvious (and
Miles O'Keeffe has said this in interviews) that the lion felt
protective of her and she isn't in danger. In fact, the lion doesn't get
agitated till Tarzan enters the scene. He's not rescuing her. He's
kidnapping her. I think O'Keeffe is right that the lion would have
attacked him.

I'd forgotten about the next scene, with the boa constrictor. I guess
the snake is real. If Jane is supposed to be suffering, well, Bo Derek
utters cries of pleasure, 'cuz that snake ain't thinking about using Bo
as a food source.

Don't kid yourself. This isn't a straight story. This is soft pr0n.

Then there's the what-are-they-thinking stuff, with Tarzan's "rescue" of
Jane, endless dissolves between Jane getting squeezed and Tarzan trying
to remove the snake, because it's supposed to be a pseudo three-way sex
scene, but it's more headache-inducing than erotic.

Again, if only this movie had been directed by an experienced soft-pr0n
director, it would have been far less notorious.

Tarzan is exhausted and passes out. Now we get two chimpanzees trying to
administer first aid (one of them looks like it's about to administer
mouth-to-mouth). The orangutan is there. I had completely forgotten
about the orangutan. My guess is that because this movie is a few years
after Every Which Way but Loose, the studio sent a note demanding that
an orangutan be cast, ignoring that it's Africa.

Then a third chimp shows up riding an elephant. The elephant lifts
Tarzan gently with tusks, takes him into the jungle, then lays him
gently on a slab adjacent to a small lake. It's picturesque, sure, but
not medicinal.

One of the three chimps vanishes without explanation. The orangutan
remains.

This is what I think it the movie's most memorable, most notorious
scene, Bo Derek feeling up an unconscious O'Keeffe. I'd forgotten that
she feels his crotch, too, but over the costume. Oh my ghod, the
sexual harassment was absolutely blatant! When will O'Keeffe write his
expose?

It's not just the laughable line that Bo Derek cannot get away with, but
the little girl's voice she uses to say this line and much of the rest
of the dialogue. She acts by sucking in her cheeks, quivering her lower
lip, moving her lower jaw back, and opening her eyes as wide as
possible. This woman was in desperate need of an acting class.

The other thing I'd forgotten is when the three of them, James, Jane,
and Harry, get kidnapped by the natives. This is a tribe of mostly white
actors. Were they supposed to be pygmies? It's been so long since I read
the novel that I've forgotten. They're just not all that tall, but the
tribal women, topless, have full breasts, so one suspects John Derek
hired his extras in Europe or California. They're sort of colorfully
painted, although some of them aren't.

John calls out to Jane. Jane, endlessly suffering, calls back, "They're
painting... my hair!" Oh, how Jane suffers.

Then we get to a scene so absurd I can't believe I forgot: They're bathing
her. It's several women. Jane is naked, on her hands and knees, and the
natives are scrubbing and rubbing, scrubbing and rubbing, concentrating
on her breasts but making sure she's clean between her legs as well. Yes,
Bo Derek is responding orgasmically; what a peformance.

Finally they paint her torso and hair. She's now in a loincloth but
remains topless. Pale gray isn't an ideal color for her.

One of the natives is a head taller than the others, which apparently is
how he got to be chief. He has a Mowhawk, a haircut one doesn't expect
to see in Africa. This is the guy Tarzan gets to fight. First he
impales Richard Harris with an elephant tusk for no particular reason,
given that he's tied up. Tarzan swings in, knocks him over, and they
fight, using some fight choreography that's pretty dumb. They make sure
to use slo mo so we can see plainly that the fight doesn't resemble
wrestling in any way because neither uses leverage against his opponent.
Tarzan wins with an illegal move.

The movie is almost over except for the long, long, long chase (Jane and
Tarzan) through the jungle, but I'll save that for later.

I don't remember where the chimp breastfeeding scene is, but perhaps that's
toward the end as well.

>>I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
>>bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
>>this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
>>in 10. 

>>Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
>>particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
>>uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
>>touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
>>and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic.

>I know!  That's the worst line read in history!

>"I've never, been, with-a-man, before, now I don't know if-that's-good, 
>or-bad"

>Seriously, it's worse than David Caruso in JADE. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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In article <oua7ao$b1f$1@dont-email.me>,
 "Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:

> anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
> >"Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
> >>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
> >>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
> >>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >>>>>anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> >>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
> >>>>>>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> >>>>>>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
> >>>>>>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
> >>>>>>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
> >>>>>>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
> >>>>>>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
> >>>>>>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
> >>>>>>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
> >>>>>>>springs into action.
> 
> >>>>>>This the Bo Derek version?
> 
> >>>>>Yes.
> 
> >>>>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
> 
> >>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.
> 
> >>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
> >>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
> 
> >>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
> >>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
> >>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
> >>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.
> 
> >You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
> >orangutan with optical heart shapes ...
> 
> >>It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
> >>from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
> >>There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
> >>her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
> 
> >Yep.  She always looks like she's had her floating ribs removed or 
> >something.
> 
> >And she could hang from a tree by those toes.
> 
> I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
> blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
> amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
> that they were doing parody?
> 
> I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
> can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
> be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
> 
> Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
> travelling on. We assume she's naked.
> 
> The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
> out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
> yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
> the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
> off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
> Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
> the water. Why? I don't know.
> 
> This is when the lion famously saunters over. It's quite obvious (and
> Miles O'Keeffe has said this in interviews) that the lion felt
> protective of her and she isn't in danger. In fact, the lion doesn't get
> agitated till Tarzan enters the scene. He's not rescuing her. He's
> kidnapping her. I think O'Keeffe is right that the lion would have
> attacked him.
> 
> I'd forgotten about the next scene, with the boa constrictor. I guess
> the snake is real. If Jane is supposed to be suffering, well, Bo Derek
> utters cries of pleasure, 'cuz that snake ain't thinking about using Bo
> as a food source.
> 
> Don't kid yourself. This isn't a straight story. This is soft pr0n.
> 
> Then there's the what-are-they-thinking stuff, with Tarzan's "rescue" of
> Jane, endless dissolves between Jane getting squeezed and Tarzan trying
> to remove the snake, because it's supposed to be a pseudo three-way sex
> scene, but it's more headache-inducing than erotic.
> 
> Again, if only this movie had been directed by an experienced soft-pr0n
> director, it would have been far less notorious.
> 
> Tarzan is exhausted and passes out. Now we get two chimpanzees trying to
> administer first aid (one of them looks like it's about to administer
> mouth-to-mouth). The orangutan is there. I had completely forgotten
> about the orangutan. My guess is that because this movie is a few years
> after Every Which Way but Loose, the studio sent a note demanding that
> an orangutan be cast, ignoring that it's Africa.
> 
> Then a third chimp shows up riding an elephant. The elephant lifts
> Tarzan gently with tusks, takes him into the jungle, then lays him
> gently on a slab adjacent to a small lake. It's picturesque, sure, but
> not medicinal.
> 
> One of the three chimps vanishes without explanation. The orangutan
> remains.
> 
> This is what I think it the movie's most memorable, most notorious
> scene, Bo Derek feeling up an unconscious O'Keeffe. I'd forgotten that
> she feels his crotch, too, but over the costume. Oh my ghod, the
> sexual harassment was absolutely blatant! When will O'Keeffe write his
> expose?
> 
> It's not just the laughable line that Bo Derek cannot get away with, but
> the little girl's voice she uses to say this line and much of the rest
> of the dialogue. She acts by sucking in her cheeks, quivering her lower
> lip, moving her lower jaw back, and opening her eyes as wide as
> possible. This woman was in desperate need of an acting class.
> 
> The other thing I'd forgotten is when the three of them, James, Jane,
> and Harry, get kidnapped by the natives. This is a tribe of mostly white
> actors. Were they supposed to be pygmies? It's been so long since I read
> the novel that I've forgotten. They're just not all that tall, but the
> tribal women, topless, have full breasts, so one suspects John Derek
> hired his extras in Europe or California. They're sort of colorfully
> painted, although some of them aren't.
> 
> John calls out to Jane. Jane, endlessly suffering, calls back, "They're
> painting... my hair!" Oh, how Jane suffers.
> 
> Then we get to a scene so absurd I can't believe I forgot: They're bathing
> her. It's several women. Jane is naked, on her hands and knees, and the
> natives are scrubbing and rubbing, scrubbing and rubbing, concentrating
> on her breasts but making sure she's clean between her legs as well. Yes,
> Bo Derek is responding orgasmically; what a peformance.
> 
> Finally they paint her torso and hair. She's now in a loincloth but
> remains topless. Pale gray isn't an ideal color for her.
> 
> One of the natives is a head taller than the others, which apparently is
> how he got to be chief. He has a Mowhawk, a haircut one doesn't expect
> to see in Africa. This is the guy Tarzan gets to fight. First he
> impales Richard Harris with an elephant tusk for no particular reason,
> given that he's tied up. Tarzan swings in, knocks him over, and they
> fight, using some fight choreography that's pretty dumb. They make sure
> to use slo mo so we can see plainly that the fight doesn't resemble
> wrestling in any way because neither uses leverage against his opponent.
> Tarzan wins with an illegal move.
> 
> The movie is almost over except for the long, long, long chase (Jane and
> Tarzan) through the jungle, but I'll save that for later.
> 
> I don't remember where the chimp breastfeeding scene is, but perhaps that's
> toward the end as well.
> 
> >>I thought her more famous image in 10 from two years earlier, in that
> >>bathing suit, was more erotic than a lot of what her husband shot in
> >>this movie. Of course, John Derek had nothing to do with the photography
> >>in 10. 
> 
> >>Bo, giving one of the all time worst movie performances, has a
> >>particularly memorable scene in which O'Keeffe is unconscious and she's,
> >>uh, administering first aide by feeling him up, proclaiming "I've never
> >>touched a man before." You'll be falling down on the floor laughing,
> >>and that's guaranteed NOT to be erotic.
> 
> >I know!  That's the worst line read in history!
> 
> >"I've never, been, with-a-man, before, now I don't know if-that's-good, 
> >or-bad"
> 
> >Seriously, it's worse than David Caruso in JADE.

hee hee

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
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Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
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Adam H. Kerman<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
>anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>>"Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
>>>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
>>>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>>>>>anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
>>>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>>>>>>>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>>>>>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>>>>>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>>>>>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>>>>>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>>>>>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>>>>>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>>>>>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>>>>>>springs into action.

>>>>>>>This the Bo Derek version?

>>>>>>Yes.

>>>>>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.

>>>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.

>>>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
>>>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?

>>>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
>>>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
>>>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
>>>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.

>>You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
>>orangutan with optical heart shapes ...

>>>It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
>>>from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
>>>There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
>>>her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.

>>Yep.  She always looks like she's had her floating ribs removed or 
>>something.

>>And she could hang from a tree by those toes. . . . 

>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
>that they were doing parody?

>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.

>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
>travelling on. We assume she's naked.

>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
>the water. Why? I don't know.

>This is when the lion famously saunters over. It's quite obvious (and
>Miles O'Keeffe has said this in interviews) that the lion felt
>protective of her and she isn't in danger. In fact, the lion doesn't get
>agitated till Tarzan enters the scene. He's not rescuing her. He's
>kidnapping her. I think O'Keeffe is right that the lion would have
>attacked him.

>I'd forgotten about the next scene, with the boa constrictor. I guess
>the snake is real. If Jane is supposed to be suffering, well, Bo Derek
>utters cries of pleasure, 'cuz that snake ain't thinking about using Bo
>as a food source.

>Don't kid yourself. This isn't a straight story. This is soft pr0n.

>Then there's the what-are-they-thinking stuff, with Tarzan's "rescue" of
>Jane, endless dissolves between Jane getting squeezed and Tarzan trying
>to remove the snake, because it's supposed to be a pseudo three-way sex
>scene, but it's more headache-inducing than erotic.

>Again, if only this movie had been directed by an experienced soft-pr0n
>director, it would have been far less notorious.

>Tarzan is exhausted and passes out. Now we get two chimpanzees trying to
>administer first aid (one of them looks like it's about to administer
>mouth-to-mouth). The orangutan is there. I had completely forgotten
>about the orangutan. My guess is that because this movie is a few years
>after Every Which Way but Loose, the studio sent a note demanding that
>an orangutan be cast, ignoring that it's Africa.

>Then a third chimp shows up riding an elephant. The elephant lifts
>Tarzan gently with tusks, takes him into the jungle, then lays him
>gently on a slab adjacent to a small lake. It's picturesque, sure, but
>not medicinal.

>One of the three chimps vanishes without explanation. The orangutan
>remains.

>This is what I think it the movie's most memorable, most notorious
>scene, Bo Derek feeling up an unconscious O'Keeffe. I'd forgotten that
>she feels his crotch, too, but over the costume. Oh my ghod, the
>sexual harassment was absolutely blatant! When will O'Keeffe write his
>expose?

>It's not just the laughable line that Bo Derek cannot get away with, but
>the little girl's voice she uses to say this line and much of the rest
>of the dialogue. She acts by sucking in her cheeks, quivering her lower
>lip, moving her lower jaw back, and opening her eyes as wide as
>possible. This woman was in desperate need of an acting class.

>The other thing I'd forgotten is when the three of them, James, Jane,
>and Harry, get kidnapped by the natives. This is a tribe of mostly white
>actors. Were they supposed to be pygmies? It's been so long since I read
>the novel that I've forgotten. They're just not all that tall, but the
>tribal women, topless, have full breasts, so one suspects John Derek
>hired his extras in Europe or California. They're sort of colorfully
>painted, although some of them aren't.

>John calls out to Jane. Jane, endlessly suffering, calls back, "They're
>painting... my hair!" Oh, how Jane suffers.

>Then we get to a scene so absurd I can't believe I forgot: They're bathing
>her. It's several women. Jane is naked, on her hands and knees, and the
>natives are scrubbing and rubbing, scrubbing and rubbing, concentrating
>on her breasts but making sure she's clean between her legs as well. Yes,
>Bo Derek is responding orgasmically; what a peformance.

>Finally they paint her torso and hair. She's now in a loincloth but
>remains topless. Pale gray isn't an ideal color for her.

>One of the natives is a head taller than the others, which apparently is
>how he got to be chief. He has a Mowhawk, a haircut one doesn't expect
>to see in Africa. This is the guy Tarzan gets to fight. First he
>impales Richard Harris with an elephant tusk for no particular reason,
>given that he's tied up. Tarzan swings in, knocks him over, and they
>fight, using some fight choreography that's pretty dumb. They make sure
>to use slo mo so we can see plainly that the fight doesn't resemble
>wrestling in any way because neither uses leverage against his opponent.
>Tarzan wins with an illegal move.

>The movie is almost over except for the long, long, long chase (Jane and
>Tarzan) through the jungle, but I'll save that for later.

>I don't remember where the chimp breastfeeding scene is, but perhaps that's
>toward the end as well.

Jane says goodbye to James and Harry. We don't see anyone untie them and
we assume James dies off screen but Jane doesn't wait with him. A chimp
and the orangutan bring Jane and Tarzan to the river to wash off. The
chimp is particularly helpful in ensuring that all the paint has been
washed off Jane's body, and gives the nipple of her right breast a quick
kiss. Maybe that's the entire reference to "breastfeeding a chimp".

Finally! John shoots O'Keeffe and Bo on a beach, O'Keeffe on top about
to kiss her, at sunset. The lighting is beautiful and Bo looks beautiful.

Then, we cut to Bo lying on a hill in broad daylight. Her gut is
naturally sucked in thanks to gravity and her ribs are more prominent
than ever. She's breathing hard. This is a long, lingering shot, making
one question why anyone would hire John to shoot a romantic scene. The
orangutan brings Tarzan over. Next, Jane has moved down the hill, sits up,
while the orangutan plays with her knees then gives her a hug. Credits
begin to role.

This is NOT the cut of the movie with the slow chase through the jungle
culminating in the sex scene between the two of them. It looks like the
uncensored version is for sale on Amazon, though.

In front of O'Keeffe, Bo flirts with the orangutan, runs up the hill,
then down, then the orang trips her and drags her a few feet by her left
leg. The orang flips her over. Pin! Then a second time. Then a third
time! The orang always makes sure to keep one hand and arm on her torso
or hips at all times. Jane gets partway up the small mound, lying on her
back, grabs the orang beneath her legs. I'm going to have to award this
point to Bo Derek. Then we cut to Bo between the orang and O'Keeffe, the
orang at her legs and O'Keeffe at her head. O'Keeffe grabs her, wanting
in on the action. O'Keeffe tries to push the orang away, losing points
by not keeping a hand on Bo's torso. The orang tries to wrestle O'Keeffe
to keep him off Bo. O'Keeffe responds by using Bo's legs to wrestle the
orang. I'm not sure how points are awarded in this scenario.

Things calm a bit. Bo is still lying on back, O'Keeffe sitting up at her
side. Suddenly the orang forces himself between then, walking on Bo's
body. Bo pushes herself away as O'Keeffe and the orang wrestle, then
throws herself on top of O'Keefe several times. Is O'Keeffe Tarzan
enough to take them both?

End.

IMDb sez it was filmed in Sri Lanka and Seychelles, which I guess
accounts for the orangutan, and I suppose the elephant had Indian and
not African ears. Yet another adventure of Tarzan not filmed in Africa.

Also, it says the snake was both a Burmese python and a reticulated,
not a boa constrictor, so that's color-blind casting. 

	
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Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
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In article <ouafg7$b7l$1@dont-email.me>, Adam H. Kerman<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:

> IMDb sez it was filmed in Sri Lanka and Seychelles, which I guess
> accounts for the orangutan, and I suppose the elephant had Indian and
> not African ears. Yet another adventure of Tarzan not filmed in Africa.
> 
> Also, it says the snake was both a Burmese python and a reticulated,
> not a boa constrictor, so that's color-blind casting.

I wanted to point out that the issue of Playboy in which John Derek's
pics of Bo appeared was a newsstand sellout in the city where I lived. 
Couldn't find one to save my life.  I finally got a guy to sell me his
display copy, the one he had hanging up by a clothespin on a wire
behind a small glass door.

Whatever happened to newsstands?  They could be fun. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
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Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981)
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In article <ouafg7$b7l$1@dont-email.me>,
 "Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:

> Adam H. Kerman<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
> >anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
> >>"Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
> >>>TT<ascii@dprk.kp> wrote:
> >>>>anim8rfsk kirjoitti 10.11.2017 klo 20:19:
> >>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >>>>>>anim8rfsk@cox.net wrote:
> >>>>>>>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> 
> >>>>>>>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> >>>>>>>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
> >>>>>>>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, 
> >>>>>>>>they
> >>>>>>>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
> >>>>>>>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
> >>>>>>>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
> >>>>>>>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each 
> >>>>>>>>other.
> >>>>>>>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
> >>>>>>>>springs into action.
> 
> >>>>>>>This the Bo Derek version?
> 
> >>>>>>Yes.
> 
> >>>>>That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.
> 
> >>>>To my recollection that doesn't take much.
> 
> >>>>Is the Bo version as bad as the IMDB claims at 3.3?
> >>>>...and more importantly, does Bo show much?
> 
> >>>She rises from the water... naked. It's a full frontal shot. There's an
> >>>energetic sex scene with O'Keeffe, and she breast feeds a chip (which I
> >>>suppose you have to be John Derek to find erotic). Isn't she naked on
> >>>the lion? She rolls around in his fur.
> 
> >>You left out the ending credits with her rolling around with the 
> >>orangutan with optical heart shapes ...
> 
> >>>It's still Bo Derek. You've seen her Playboy spread, which I think was
> >>>from stills that John shot while they were in production on this movie.
> >>>There's something off putting about the way he shoots her. He always has
> >>>her sucking in her gut. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel.
> 
> >>Yep.  She always looks like she's had her floating ribs removed or 
> >>something.
> 
> >>And she could hang from a tree by those toes. . . . 
> 
> >I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
> >blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
> >amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
> >that they were doing parody?
> 
> >I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
> >can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
> >be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
> 
> >Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
> >travelling on. We assume she's naked.
> 
> >The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
> >out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
> >yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
> >the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
> >off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
> >Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
> >the water. Why? I don't know.
> 
> >This is when the lion famously saunters over. It's quite obvious (and
> >Miles O'Keeffe has said this in interviews) that the lion felt
> >protective of her and she isn't in danger. In fact, the lion doesn't get
> >agitated till Tarzan enters the scene. He's not rescuing her. He's
> >kidnapping her. I think O'Keeffe is right that the lion would have
> >attacked him.
> 
> >I'd forgotten about the next scene, with the boa constrictor. I guess
> >the snake is real. If Jane is supposed to be suffering, well, Bo Derek
> >utters cries of pleasure, 'cuz that snake ain't thinking about using Bo
> >as a food source.
> 
> >Don't kid yourself. This isn't a straight story. This is soft pr0n.
> 
> >Then there's the what-are-they-thinking stuff, with Tarzan's "rescue" of
> >Jane, endless dissolves between Jane getting squeezed and Tarzan trying
> >to remove the snake, because it's supposed to be a pseudo three-way sex
> >scene, but it's more headache-inducing than erotic.
> 
> >Again, if only this movie had been directed by an experienced soft-pr0n
> >director, it would have been far less notorious.
> 
> >Tarzan is exhausted and passes out. Now we get two chimpanzees trying to
> >administer first aid (one of them looks like it's about to administer
> >mouth-to-mouth). The orangutan is there. I had completely forgotten
> >about the orangutan. My guess is that because this movie is a few years
> >after Every Which Way but Loose, the studio sent a note demanding that
> >an orangutan be cast, ignoring that it's Africa.
> 
> >Then a third chimp shows up riding an elephant. The elephant lifts
> >Tarzan gently with tusks, takes him into the jungle, then lays him
> >gently on a slab adjacent to a small lake. It's picturesque, sure, but
> >not medicinal.
> 
> >One of the three chimps vanishes without explanation. The orangutan
> >remains.
> 
> >This is what I think it the movie's most memorable, most notorious
> >scene, Bo Derek feeling up an unconscious O'Keeffe. I'd forgotten that
> >she feels his crotch, too, but over the costume. Oh my ghod, the
> >sexual harassment was absolutely blatant! When will O'Keeffe write his
> >expose?
> 
> >It's not just the laughable line that Bo Derek cannot get away with, but
> >the little girl's voice she uses to say this line and much of the rest
> >of the dialogue. She acts by sucking in her cheeks, quivering her lower
> >lip, moving her lower jaw back, and opening her eyes as wide as
> >possible. This woman was in desperate need of an acting class.
> 
> >The other thing I'd forgotten is when the three of them, James, Jane,
> >and Harry, get kidnapped by the natives. This is a tribe of mostly white
> >actors. Were they supposed to be pygmies? It's been so long since I read
> >the novel that I've forgotten. They're just not all that tall, but the
> >tribal women, topless, have full breasts, so one suspects John Derek
> >hired his extras in Europe or California. They're sort of colorfully
> >painted, although some of them aren't.
> 
> >John calls out to Jane. Jane, endlessly suffering, calls back, "They're
> >painting... my hair!" Oh, how Jane suffers.
> 
> >Then we get to a scene so absurd I can't believe I forgot: They're bathing
> >her. It's several women. Jane is naked, on her hands and knees, and the
> >natives are scrubbing and rubbing, scrubbing and rubbing, concentrating
> >on her breasts but making sure she's clean between her legs as well. Yes,
> >Bo Derek is responding orgasmically; what a peformance.
> 
> >Finally they paint her torso and hair. She's now in a loincloth but
> >remains topless. Pale gray isn't an ideal color for her.
> 
> >One of the natives is a head taller than the others, which apparently is
> >how he got to be chief. He has a Mowhawk, a haircut one doesn't expect
> >to see in Africa. This is the guy Tarzan gets to fight. First he
> >impales Richard Harris with an elephant tusk for no particular reason,
> >given that he's tied up. Tarzan swings in, knocks him over, and they
> >fight, using some fight choreography that's pretty dumb. They make sure
> >to use slo mo so we can see plainly that the fight doesn't resemble
> >wrestling in any way because neither uses leverage against his opponent.
> >Tarzan wins with an illegal move.
> 
> >The movie is almost over except for the long, long, long chase (Jane and
> >Tarzan) through the jungle, but I'll save that for later.
> 
> >I don't remember where the chimp breastfeeding scene is, but perhaps that's
> >toward the end as well.
> 
> Jane says goodbye to James and Harry. We don't see anyone untie them and
> we assume James dies off screen but Jane doesn't wait with him. A chimp
> and the orangutan bring Jane and Tarzan to the river to wash off. The
> chimp is particularly helpful in ensuring that all the paint has been
> washed off Jane's body, and gives the nipple of her right breast a quick
> kiss. Maybe that's the entire reference to "breastfeeding a chimp".
> 
> Finally! John shoots O'Keeffe and Bo on a beach, O'Keeffe on top about
> to kiss her, at sunset. The lighting is beautiful and Bo looks beautiful.
> 
> Then, we cut to Bo lying on a hill in broad daylight. Her gut is
> naturally sucked in thanks to gravity and her ribs are more prominent
> than ever. She's breathing hard. This is a long, lingering shot, making
> one question why anyone would hire John to shoot a romantic scene. The
> orangutan brings Tarzan over. Next, Jane has moved down the hill, sits up,
> while the orangutan plays with her knees then gives her a hug. Credits
> begin to role.
> 
> This is NOT the cut of the movie with the slow chase through the jungle
> culminating in the sex scene between the two of them. It looks like the
> uncensored version is for sale on Amazon, though.
> 
> In front of O'Keeffe, Bo flirts with the orangutan, runs up the hill,
> then down, then the orang trips her and drags her a few feet by her left
> leg. The orang flips her over. Pin! Then a second time. Then a third
> time! The orang always makes sure to keep one hand and arm on her torso
> or hips at all times. Jane gets partway up the small mound, lying on her
> back, grabs the orang beneath her legs. I'm going to have to award this
> point to Bo Derek. Then we cut to Bo between the orang and O'Keeffe, the
> orang at her legs and O'Keeffe at her head. O'Keeffe grabs her, wanting
> in on the action. O'Keeffe tries to push the orang away, losing points
> by not keeping a hand on Bo's torso. The orang tries to wrestle O'Keeffe
> to keep him off Bo. O'Keeffe responds by using Bo's legs to wrestle the
> orang. I'm not sure how points are awarded in this scenario.
> 
> Things calm a bit. Bo is still lying on back, O'Keeffe sitting up at her
> side. Suddenly the orang forces himself between then, walking on Bo's
> body. Bo pushes herself away as O'Keeffe and the orang wrestle, then
> throws herself on top of O'Keefe several times. Is O'Keeffe Tarzan
> enough to take them both?
> 
> End.
> 
> IMDb sez it was filmed in Sri Lanka and Seychelles, which I guess
> accounts for the orangutan, and I suppose the elephant had Indian and
> not African ears. Yet another adventure of Tarzan not filmed in Africa.
> 
> Also, it says the snake was both a Burmese python and a reticulated,
> not a boa constrictor, so that's color-blind casting.

Boas are from this hemisphere, not Africa.

I was about to say you spent too much time on this, but I'm about to do 
a shot by shot of THE CHINESE TYPEWRITER because, well, it's asking for 
it.

-- 
Join your old RAT friends at
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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In article <oua7ao$b1f$1@dont-email.me>, ahk@chinet.com wrote:

>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
>that they were doing parody?

Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering a 
big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere?

>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
>
>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
>travelling on. We assume she's naked.
>
>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
>the water. Why? I don't know.

My ancient TV is small, but I think there was full frontal nudity when she 
decides to bathe alone in the inner sea they discovered.

>This is when the lion famously saunters over. It's quite obvious (and
>Miles O'Keeffe has said this in interviews) that the lion felt
>protective of her and she isn't in danger. In fact, the lion doesn't get
>agitated till Tarzan enters the scene. He's not rescuing her. He's
>kidnapping her. I think O'Keeffe is right that the lion would have
>attacked him.

It appeared to me that he was attempting to rescue her form the lion, or at 
least interposed himself bewteen the two.

This is where I gave in from exhaustion caused by "ACTING!" and 
"CINIMATOGRAPHY!".

>I'd forgotten about the next scene, with the boa constrictor. I guess
>the snake is real. If Jane is supposed to be suffering, well, Bo Derek
>utters cries of pleasure, 'cuz that snake ain't thinking about using Bo
>as a food source.
>
>Don't kid yourself. This isn't a straight story. This is soft pr0n.
>
>Then there's the what-are-they-thinking stuff, with Tarzan's "rescue" of
>Jane, endless dissolves between Jane getting squeezed and Tarzan trying
>to remove the snake, because it's supposed to be a pseudo three-way sex
>scene, but it's more headache-inducing than erotic.
>
>Again, if only this movie had been directed by an experienced soft-pr0n
>director, it would have been far less notorious.
>
>Tarzan is exhausted and passes out. Now we get two chimpanzees trying to
>administer first aid (one of them looks like it's about to administer
>mouth-to-mouth). The orangutan is there. I had completely forgotten
>about the orangutan. My guess is that because this movie is a few years
>after Every Which Way but Loose, the studio sent a note demanding that
>an orangutan be cast, ignoring that it's Africa.
>
>Then a third chimp shows up riding an elephant. The elephant lifts
>Tarzan gently with tusks, takes him into the jungle, then lays him
>gently on a slab adjacent to a small lake. It's picturesque, sure, but
>not medicinal.
>
>One of the three chimps vanishes without explanation. The orangutan
>remains.
>
>This is what I think it the movie's most memorable, most notorious
>scene, Bo Derek feeling up an unconscious O'Keeffe. I'd forgotten that
>she feels his crotch, too, but over the costume. Oh my ghod, the
>sexual harassment was absolutely blatant! When will O'Keeffe write his
>expose?
>
>It's not just the laughable line that Bo Derek cannot get away with, but
>the little girl's voice she uses to say this line and much of the rest
>of the dialogue. She acts by sucking in her cheeks, quivering her lower
>lip, moving her lower jaw back, and opening her eyes as wide as
>possible. This woman was in desperate need of an acting class.
>
>The other thing I'd forgotten is when the three of them, James, Jane,
>and Harry, get kidnapped by the natives. This is a tribe of mostly white
>actors. Were they supposed to be pygmies? It's been so long since I read
>the novel that I've forgotten. They're just not all that tall, but the
>tribal women, topless, have full breasts, so one suspects John Derek
>hired his extras in Europe or California. They're sort of colorfully
>painted, although some of them aren't.
>
>John calls out to Jane. Jane, endlessly suffering, calls back, "They're
>painting... my hair!" Oh, how Jane suffers.
>
>Then we get to a scene so absurd I can't believe I forgot: They're bathing
>her. It's several women. Jane is naked, on her hands and knees, and the
>natives are scrubbing and rubbing, scrubbing and rubbing, concentrating
>on her breasts but making sure she's clean between her legs as well. Yes,
>Bo Derek is responding orgasmically; what a peformance.
>
>Finally they paint her torso and hair. She's now in a loincloth but
>remains topless. Pale gray isn't an ideal color for her.
>
>One of the natives is a head taller than the others, which apparently is
>how he got to be chief. He has a Mowhawk, a haircut one doesn't expect
>to see in Africa. This is the guy Tarzan gets to fight. First he
>impales Richard Harris with an elephant tusk for no particular reason,
>given that he's tied up. Tarzan swings in, knocks him over, and they
>fight, using some fight choreography that's pretty dumb. They make sure
>to use slo mo so we can see plainly that the fight doesn't resemble
>wrestling in any way because neither uses leverage against his opponent.
>Tarzan wins with an illegal move.
>
>The movie is almost over except for the long, long, long chase (Jane and
>Tarzan) through the jungle, but I'll save that for later.
>
>I don't remember where the chimp breastfeeding scene is, but perhaps that's
>toward the end as well.


-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>ahk@chinet.com wrote:

>>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
>>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
>>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
>>that they were doing parody?

>Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering a 
>big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere?

No. This movie wasn't big on plot.

>>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
>>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
>>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.

>>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
>>travelling on. We assume she's naked.

>>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
>>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
>>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
>>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
>>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
>>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
>>the water. Why? I don't know.

>My ancient TV is small, but I think there was full frontal nudity when she 
>decides to bathe alone in the inner sea they discovered.

If it's "full frontal", doesn't there need to be a full-on shot from the
front? For whatever reason, she had her breasts on screen for much of
the movie, but we saw her hips and ass, never the rest. That's modesty
for this movie.

>>This is when the lion famously saunters over. It's quite obvious (and
>>Miles O'Keeffe has said this in interviews) that the lion felt
>>protective of her and she isn't in danger. In fact, the lion doesn't get
>>agitated till Tarzan enters the scene. He's not rescuing her. He's
>>kidnapping her. I think O'Keeffe is right that the lion would have
>>attacked him.

>It appeared to me that he was attempting to rescue her form the lion, or at 
>least interposed himself bewteen the two.

Yeah. It just never looked like the lion would pounce on her.

>This is where I gave in from exhaustion caused by "ACTING!" and 
>"CINIMATOGRAPHY!".

Hey! There's a lion here! Please don't startle him.

>>. . . 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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In article <oud40k$ghl$2@dont-email.me>, ahk@chinet.com wrote:
>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>>ahk@chinet.com wrote:

>>>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
>>>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
>>>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
>>>that they were doing parody?
>
>>Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering 
>>a big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere?
>
>No. This movie wasn't big on plot.

Heh.

>>>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
>>>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
>>>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
>
>>>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
>>>travelling on. We assume she's naked.
>
>>>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
>>>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
>>>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
>>>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
>>>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
>>>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
>>>the water. Why? I don't know.
>
>>My ancient TV is small, but I think there was full frontal nudity when she 
>>decides to bathe alone in the inner sea they discovered.
>
>If it's "full frontal", doesn't there need to be a full-on shot from the
>front? For whatever reason, she had her breasts on screen for much of
>the movie, but we saw her hips and ass, never the rest. That's modesty
>for this movie.

I was pretty sure I saw a frontal view of her leaving the water.

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
References: <XuqdnRJBq_uIVJjHnZ2dnUU7-LGdnZ2d@giganews.com> <anim8rfsk-943A21.20183510112017@news.easynews.com> <oua7ao$b1f$1@dont-email.me> <oucv0l$g0q$1@dont-email.me> <oud40k$ghl$2@dont-email.me> <RqednZAxOL1KhJfHnZ2dnUU7-S2dnZ2d@giganews.com>
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In article<RqednZAxOL1KhJfHnZ2dnUU7-S2dnZ2d@giganews.com>,
 Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

> In article <oud40k$ghl$2@dont-email.me>, ahk@chinet.com wrote:
> >Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >>ahk@chinet.com wrote:
> 
> >>>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
> >>>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
> >>>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
> >>>that they were doing parody?
> >
> >>Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering 
> >>a big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere?
> >
> >No. This movie wasn't big on plot.
> 
> Heh.
> 
> >>>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
> >>>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
> >>>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
> >
> >>>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
> >>>travelling on. We assume she's naked.
> >
> >>>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
> >>>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
> >>>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
> >>>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
> >>>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
> >>>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
> >>>the water. Why? I don't know.
> >
> >>My ancient TV is small, but I think there was full frontal nudity when she 
> >>decides to bathe alone in the inner sea they discovered.
> >
> >If it's "full frontal", doesn't there need to be a full-on shot from the
> >front? For whatever reason, she had her breasts on screen for much of
> >the movie, but we saw her hips and ass, never the rest. That's modesty
> >for this movie.
> 
> I was pretty sure I saw a frontal view of her leaving the water.

She's got wet flimsy white cloth on though:
http://media.nitrovideo.com:81/thumbs/5/2/7/e/5/bo_derek_in_tarzan_...
e_man_01.avi/bo_derek_in_tarzan_the_ape_man_01.avi-collage.jpg

-- 
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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From: anim8rfsk <anim8rfsk@cox.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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In article <oud40k$ghl$2@dont-email.me>,
 "Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:

> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
> >ahk@chinet.com wrote:
> 
> >>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
> >>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
> >>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
> >>that they were doing parody?
> 
> >Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering 
> >a 
> >big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere?
> 
> No. This movie wasn't big on plot.
> 
> >>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
> >>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
> >>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
> 
> >>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
> >>travelling on. We assume she's naked.
> 
> >>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
> >>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
> >>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
> >>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
> >>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
> >>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
> >>the water. Why? I don't know.
> 
> >My ancient TV is small, but I think there was full frontal nudity when she 
> >decides to bathe alone in the inner sea they discovered.
> 
> If it's "full frontal", doesn't there need to be a full-on shot from the
> front? For whatever reason, she had her breasts on screen for much of
> the movie, but we saw her hips and ass, never the rest. That's modesty
> for this movie.

Generally "full frontal" was code for "pubic hair"

Now that there's no such thing, I dunno.

-- 
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https://www.facebook.com/groups/1688985234647266/ 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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anim8rfsk<anim8rfsk@cox.net> wrote:
>In article <oud40k$ghl$2@dont-email.me>,
> "Adam H. Kerman"<ahk@chinet.com> wrote:
>
>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>> >ahk@chinet.com wrote:
>> 
>> >>I rewatched portions of the movie for the hell of it. I seem to have
>> >>blocked out large parts of it. Richard Harris, who truly can act, chews
>> >>amazing amounts of scenary; I'd forgotten. Was he told to? Did he decide
>> >>that they were doing parody?
>> 
>> >Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering 
>> >a 
>> >big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere?
>> 
>> No. This movie wasn't big on plot.
>> 
>> >>I take back that John never shot his wife erotically in this movie. She
>> >>can really be quite breathtakingly beautiful. It's just that she can't
>> >>be saying dialogue, and, well, she has to be wearing clothes.
>> 
>> >>Earlier in the movie, Jane is swimming, following the boat they are
>> >>travelling on. We assume she's naked.
>> 
>> >>The scene we were discussing, in which Jane is bathing, naked, then gets
>> >>out of the water, is at about the 40 minute mark. She's fully naked,
>> >>yes, and rises from the water. It's not full frontal. She's shot from
>> >>the left side. I didn't remember that. Ok. She gets out but doesn't dry
>> >>off. She puts her white virginal outfit back on (only in the movies can
>> >>Bo Derek be re-virginalized by dressing her in white), then returns to
>> >>the water. Why? I don't know.
>> 
>> >My ancient TV is small, but I think there was full frontal nudity when she 
>> >decides to bathe alone in the inner sea they discovered.
>> 
>> If it's "full frontal", doesn't there need to be a full-on shot from the
>> front? For whatever reason, she had her breasts on screen for much of
>> the movie, but we saw her hips and ass, never the rest. That's modesty
>> for this movie.
>
>Generally "full frontal" was code for "pubic hair"
>
>Now that there's no such thing, I dunno.

Looking at pictues of females without pubic hair used to be limited
to paedophiles. 

	
From: Ed Stasiak <estasiak@att.net>
Subject: Re: Tarzan, The Ape Man (1981) (was: [TCM Underground] This week onTCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man)
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> Ubiquitous
>
> Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering
> a big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere? 

Wasn’t the cannon ordered by Jane’s dad (thus she hitched a ride on the boat
delivering it) and maybe I’m imaging it but didn’t they use it to fire grappling
hooks up the cliffs they needed to get over, or is this some other movie? 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
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estasiak@att.net wrote:
>> Ubiquitous

>> Did they ever explain the reason she hitched a ride on that boat delivering
>> a big silver cannon to the middle of nowhere? 
>
>Wasn't the cannon ordered by Jane's dad (thus she hitched a ride on the boat
>delivering it) and maybe I'm imaging it but didn't they use it to fire 
>grappling hooks up the cliffs they needed to get over, or is this some other 
>movie?

I remember it being fired, but not at the enscarpment.

-- 
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have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: Bill Steele <ws21@cornel.edu>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja,Tarzan, The Ape Man
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On 11/10/17 1:19 PM, anim8rfsk wrote:
> In article<b4OdnTa8i_rfdpjHnZ2dnUU7-XWdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
>   Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net>  wrote:
> 
>> anim8rfsk@cox.net  wrote:
>>> Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net>  wrote:
>>>> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>>> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his
>>>> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they
>>>> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the
>>>> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of
>>>> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the
>>>> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other.
>>>> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan
>>>> springs into action.
>>> This the Bo Derek version?
>> Yes.
> That's actually more faithful than GREYSTOKE was.

If you mean faithful to the original Burroughs, no. In the second book, 
confusingly titled "The Return of Tarzan," he goes to England and claims 
his title, which is mostly what Greystoke is about.

Actually, "Return" wasn't a second book. It was the second half of one 
long book, which the book publisher broke into two parts. Tjensecond 
part has always been hardm to find inn bookstores and libraries, which 
caused some controversey when Bible thumpers read the next book and 
found John and Jane living together withoiut benefit of clergy, which 
had been taken care of in the previous installment. 

	
From: Adam H. Kerman <ahk@chinet.com>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
>springs into action.

Doesn't this mean TCM will be airing a heavily censored movie? I have a
vague recollection that the last portion of the movie, the lovers' chase
through the jungle without dialogue, was heavily cut for theatrical
release, as was much of the sex scene.

The only time I've seen this movie was with Joe Bob Briggs hosting,
with Miles O'Keeffe as his guest. O'Keeffe was self deprecating and had
fun poking at his first and most famous on-screen performance, what's
essentially a soft pr0n movie released by a major studio. It was allegedly
the long version of the movie. I remember thinking that the directing
and Bo's performance were both so awful that whatever cuts were made for
theaters weren't enough. 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Date: Fri, 10 Nov 2017 17:39:02 -0500
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In article <ou57r1$iu8$1@news.albasani.net>, ahk@chinet.com wrote:
>Ubiquitous<weberm@polaris.net> wrote:

>>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
>>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
>>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
>>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
>>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
>>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
>>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
>>springs into action.
>
>Doesn't this mean TCM will be airing a heavily censored movie? 

Yes and no. I noticed that they don't cut out the profanity, but some of 
the films seem to be missing parts (or maybe I zoned out).

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
From: Stephen DeMay <neongen@webtv.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
Date: Sun, 12 Nov 2017 13:40:32 -0800 (PST)
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On Friday, November 10, 2017 at 10:43:25 AM UTC-5, Ubiquitous wrote:
> Red Sonja(1985):
> A woman seeks revenge on the evil queen by stealing her magic orb.
> 
> Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
> James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
> wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
> learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
> jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
> bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
> situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
> When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
> springs into action.
> 
> -- 
> Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
> have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones.

Bo's Jane is that of a mentally challenged fifteen year old. Richard Harris 
with windblown wild hair looks like Bozo the geriatric clown who for no good 
reason is super pissed at Tarzan. Tarzan does not talk, Bo can' 

	
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2017 09:41:59 -0500
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In article<XuqdnRJBq_uIVJjHnZ2dnUU7-LGdnZ2d@giganews.com>,
weberm@polaris.net wrote:

>Red Sonja(1985):
>A woman seeks revenge on the evil queen by stealing her magic orb.

http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title/1933/Red-Sonja/home-video-reviews.ht...

An established fan favorite of bad moviemaking, this sideways spinoff 
of the Conan Sword 'n Sorcery franchise is a lopsided show that 
wastes some top production talent on a feeble script. When posing 
with their shining blades Arnold Schwarzenegger and Brigitte Nielsen 
look like Frank Frazetta fantasy artwork come to life. But their 
acting is limited to appallingly bad line readings. 

 The character of "Red Sonja, She Devil of the Hyrkanian Steppes" was 
reportedly not originally part of Robert E. Howard's Hyborian tales; 
the red-haired master swordswoman teamed up with Conan much later in 
Marvel Comic books. Danish model Brigitte Nielsen was cast as Red 
Sonja when Sandahl Bergman rejected the part; Arnold's character was 
written into the script at the last minute. When Red Sonja reached 
the theaters, Schwarzenegger was reportedly irked to find that the 
producers had given top billing to his secondary part in order to 
capitalize on his name. 

 The story begins with a confusingly edited flashback to childhood 
scenes of Red Sonja losing her family to the evil Queen Gedren 
(Sandahl Bergman). In the first of several repetitious massacres, 
Gedren throws a group of Amazon priestesses into a bottomless pit and 
steals their magical talisman, a glowing green orb. Tipped off by her 
dying sister, Red Sonja swears vengeance. She's assisted by young 
Prince Tarn (Ernie Reyes Jr.), a brat tended by the amiable servant 
Falkon (Paul Smith, Bluto in Robert Altman's Popeye). Tagging along 
at a distance is the adventurer prince Kalidor (Arnold 
Schwarzenegger). 

 Even for the juvenile action crowd this is a limp revenge tale. Red 
Sonja spends too much screen time playing babysitter to the annoying 
child Prince. Frequent cutaways to Queen Gedren show her engaged in 
generic evil monarch behavior, refusing to relinquish the 
earthquake-generating talisman even though it threatens to shake her 
castle to rubble. Character dynamics between Brigitte and Arnold 
never advance farther than swapping laugh-out-loud bad dialogue. She: 
"No man may have me, unless he's beaten me in a fair fight." He: "So, 
the only man that can have you, is one who's trying to kill you. 
That's logic." 

 Courting the kiddie audience, the movie keeps blood to a minimum 
with only one arm and one head severed in all the sword slashing. 
There's no sex beyond Sonja's one Fredericks of Hyrkania costume. 
Blades clang loudly but the fight choreography is uninteresting. 
Arnold and Brigitte's fencing style has a lot in common with 
bodybuilder posing, forming static tableaux that evoke classic 
Frazetta imagery. Musclebound Schwarzenegger has difficulty slinging 
his blade around freely, and scores of anonymous soldiers invariably 
take turns to attack him rather than charge all at once. A skilled 
fencer like Rob Roy's Tim Roth would make mincemeat of these 
pretenders. 

Red Sonja has flawless lensing from Giuseppe Rotunno and impressive 
art direction by Danilo Donati, but the film looks like a collection 
of handsome sets and locations waiting for a worthy story. Richard 
Fleischer's direction isn't any better than his lackluster efforts 
for the first Conan sequel, Conan the Destroyer. At one point our 
heroes creep along a narrow ledge until a pullback reveals that they 
could simply walk to where they want to go. They do battle with a 
mechanical snake that isn't up to Carlo Rambaldi standards, 
especially when it spins wildly, as if attached to the same silly 
rotating rig used by rubber crocodiles in the classic MGM Tarzan 
movies. Other elaborate effects constructions aren't fully exploited. 
Accompanied by her pet spider, evil Queen Gedren views a large 
television powered by an alchemist's bubbling chemistry set. It's 
used once and never seen again. 

 When a film's star has limited acting experience, the standard 
wisdom is to compensate by surrounding them with colorful supporting 
players of the kind that Red Sonja sorely lacks. Beautiful Brigitte 
Nielsen just isn't up to the task of carrying scenes on her own. The 
only accomplished actor in sight is the always-exceptional Ronald 
Lacey (Raiders of the Lost Ark). When he says a line, it at least 
sounds like acting. The rest of the picture plays as if the actors 
are dry-rehearsing their dialogue while blocking scenes. 
Dramatically, it's no better than the average episode of the animated 
He-Man: Masters of the Universe cartoon show - most of the enjoyment 
in Red Sonja comes from laughing at the gaudy badness of it all. 

 Warners' DVD of Red Sonja presents this noisy action show in the 
best possible light. The sparkling transfer is colorful and rock-
solid, showing off the beautiful locations near Rome in full enhanced 
widescreen. Ennio Morricone's surprisingly dull score is well served 
by the clear, mono soundtrack. Sword and sorcery fans will enjoy 
Danilo Donati's many outrageously garish costumes for various 
footsoldiers and henchmen. Not counting Arnold's bulging biceps, the 
art designs are surely the high point of the picture. 

-- 
Dems & the media want Trump to be more like Obama, but then he'd 
have to audit liberals  & wire tap reporters' phones. 

	
Next <
From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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From: Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv,rec.arts.movies.past-films
Subject: Re: [TCM Underground] This week on TCM Underground: Red Sonja, Tarzan, The Ape Man
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weberm@polaris.net wrote:

>Tarzan, The Ape Man(1981):
>James Parker is in Africa looking for a mythical white ape when his 
>wife dies. He is joined by his estranged daughter, Jane. Together, they 
>learn this white ape is Tarzan, a man who was raised by apes in the 
>jungle. Parker continues to hunt Tarzan, but now with the purpose of 
>bringing him back to England, dead or alive. Tarzan responds to the 
>situation by kidnapping Jane, and the two are fascinated by each other. 
>When natives take Jane with the intent of sacrificing her, Tarzan 
>springs into action.

http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title/13408/Tarzan-The-Ape-Man/home-video-...

If you weren't old enough to know what was going on at the time, it's pretty 
hard to fathom the early-80's popularity of Bo Derek, a dull-eyed wisp of flesh 
who catapulted to mega-stardom when she appeared as the object of Dudley Moore's 
lust in the hit comedy, 10. Actually, even back in the day it was difficult to 
understand what all the fuss was about, given that Derek generated frothing 
mass-adulation simply by batting her eyelashes and bounding down the beach in a 
bathing suit. It's not like she invented the concept, and it wasn't long before 
people caught on that you could get the same thing for free on network TV, 
virtually every night of the week.

 If you're looking for clarification on the Derek phenomenon, you'll get no help 
from Warner Bros.' DVD release of 1981's Tarzan the Ape Man, which was directed 
by Bo's obviously clueless Svengali-like husband, John Derek. This is one lousy, 
awful, terrible movie, a compendium of half-baked nonsense that's about as 
inexplicable an act of star power - it was made as Bo's strategic follow-up to 
10 - as you'll ever see. But get the popcorn ready, it may still be worth 
watching. "So bad, it's good" fans will find waaaaaay more than enough to crow 
about by the time it's over, and everyone else will sit slack-jawed at the 
unrelenting inappropriateness of virtually every aspect of its production.

 Bo plays "Jane," in the sense that that's what everybody calls her. As the 
movie begins, Jane rides a steamship up an African river, where she meets up 
with her estranged, totally-nuts explorer father (Richard Harris, hamming it up 
like there's no tomorrow.) Dear old Dad may or may not have eyes for his own 
daughter, not that it matters in the long run. Harris basically just drags Bo's 
moist body through the jungle, where, after about 45 meandering minutes, she 
takes her clothes off completely, gets frightened by a lion, and meets Tarzan 
(Miles O'Keefe), a buff monkey-man who looks like he stepped out of a 
Chippendales floor show. O'Keefe, it should be noted, gets off lucky, since 
Tarzan is basically mute and doesn't have to recite any of the wretched 
dialogue.

 Jane will teach Tarzan, a dim bulb, how to grope her breasts. Not long after 
that, a bunch of natives will strip Jane naked (again), then paint her white. 
Then Dad will loudly recite "Humpty Dumpty" while tied to a post and dying from 
an exceptionally unpleasant stomach wound. The end.

 I hope I didn't ruin anything for you.

 The Dereks certainly couldn't be accused of aiming too high. The sole point of 
Tarzan the Ape Man is finding ways for Bo to show off her tight little body and 
heroically perky breasts. The party line for most actresses is that they'll do 
nudity only if it's integral to the plot. This may be the only time in movie 
history that a name actress participated in something resembling a plot because 
it was integral to the nudity.

 You can't really blame Bo for any of this, since she was no less a product than 
a tub of Crisco is. But husband John's directorial technique is so amateurish 
it's astonishing that a major studio actually allowed him to think he knew what 
he was doing.

 Honestly, you won't believe this one: scenes drag on for days; minor bits of 
information are belabored while important action takes place just beyond the 
edge of the frame; slow-motion